Your poll results: Conflict is the biggest barrier to open conversations

The strategy and plan are ‘often’ clear, but where things fall over are connection and communication, the cornerstone of high-performing teams. Last week on a Linkedin poll, I asked: "In your experience, which is hardest for teams to discuss openly?". The results were revealing:

· Mistakes: 13%

· Conflict: 43%

· Challenging the boss: 31%

· Asking for help: 13%

At the time of writing this, 68 of you responded. Thank you.

Here, I explore one reason each of these four dynamics can be a barrier and share practical ideas from breakthrough sessions I've conducted with teams. These insights come from real people in real work situations, not just theory.

Mistakes (13%)

Barrier: fear of judgment or repercussions can prevent team members from admitting mistakes.

Idea: I talk in my breakthrough sessions with teams about Darren Warren, who, in the 1950s discovered a Dictaphone at a German trade show. His idea was to put one in an aeroplane to record the final moments of discussion between the cockpit crew. Yes, the black box. Which is red. So it’s easy to find. This idea and learning culture has generated decades of insight from mistakes, making aviation travel the safest statistically on the planet.

One consumer goods team picked this up as a culture they will adopt, viewing learning from mistakes as insight and opportunities to grow by having open discussions about errors and the lessons learned from them. This takes real commitment and leadership support not to go back on this promise, and we are talking intelligent failure here, not violations which should be punished.

Conflict (43%)

Barrier: concerns about damaging relationships or creating tension can make team members avoid conflict.

Idea: Anouk Holsboer brought to my attention the phrase "compassionate candour" meaning we "challenge directly because we care personally", based on Kim Scott's work (Radical Candour). Reminds me too of the difference between being ‘nice’ and sugar-coating, not rocking the boat, being more concerned with self-protection, versus the benefit of kindness. This is our willingness to say something in the interest of someone else, even when it is a risk to us. Not suggesting any of this is easy but pulling punches stores up issues. We need to set a tone of encouraging teams to address challenges constructively, collaborating to find solutions rather than indulging in blame.

Challenging the Boss (31%)

Barrier: Fear of retaliation can inhibit team members from challenging their leaders.

Idea: Power dynamics play a huge role here. Some leaders will not like hearing this. The more senior you become in an organisation, the funnier your jokes get. Colleagues self-censoring includes laughing harder at the most senior person’s jokes. You need to reduce the power gradient, show you are human, have humility, you don’t know all of the answers….because no one does. This includes listening. And not just for data or information or perspectives you want to hear, but ideas and concerns that illuminate new ways of thinking and challenge your view. If you demonstrate more humility, ask more questions, and then critically respond productively to viewpoints shared, this will encourage colleagues to speak up more. Make no mistake, you need to make the final call, but how you get there is critical to how comfortable colleagues feel speaking up in the future.

Asking for Help (13%)

Barrier: pride or fear of appearing weak or incompetent can prevent team members from seeking assistance. A direct quote from a breakthrough session, “if I ask for help, I see it as a personal failing of myself".

Idea: the team’s response was to rally around their colleague. They told him how much they respected him. And if he asked for help, they would never think less of him.

Teams should work to normalise asking for help by highlighting its importance in achieving team goals. This will encourage a supportive atmosphere where team members feel comfortable reaching out for assistance.

If you have any builds on these barriers/ideas, I’d love to hear them.